 "Don't rely on others for empowerment or encouragement, even love! You have to provide that for yourself and then if you get it from others, its just a plus."
The cycle of defeat is the cycle that most of society is stuck in right now, it is perpetuated in family homes, in schools and in places of work. Instead of picking each other up and finding out what the strengths of the individual are, we put them down subtly (Usually as a joke or banter - Which obviously has its place if used correctly) or not so subtly. The first thing to understand is that we are run by the subconscious mind, the mind underneath or behind the conscious mind that we are aware of. The subconscious mind controls our actions, thoughts and emotions and is the ultimate catalyst of our achievements and defeats. Now that you know this if you didn't already, you know that you've got some work to do if you are not where you want to be. Some may say that work is not involved, but I'm sorry to admit that there is and it can be nasty and I know because I can be one of the laziest mofo's you ever met. You realise how much power you are giving 'others' or images of 'others' in your mind, you literally create your reality in your mind - that is where your reality is and if you have voices of doubt or memories of failure playing over and over again in that reality what do you think that is going to do? It's going to fuck you over in various areas of your life, especially the ones that you care about and want to progress in. Now you may admit that you need others to empower you at this point, to help you have new thoughts about your reality and about you, but the funny thing is - you don't. You have the ability, the strength and the choice to be that voice for yourself, to empower yourself. You need to make a choice to remove anything that doesn't reinforce that empowerment. You need to cultivate the reality you need to live the life you want, your internal eco-system of empowerment, love and positivity. You cannot rely on the outside world for that empowerment. If I relied totally on the external, and that is something I have needed to overcome my addiction to (and still working on), I would never achieve anything that I really wanted to and BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE (NOT GOOD). I wouldn't be running a start up videography company (that isn't currently earning the amount I would like - but pushing on), I wouldn't be pursuing a dream career as a film maker and I wouldn't be writing this - because I would be a mess of self loathing and hate. There are not enough people in my life and in the lives of many of the people I know that are empowering and encouraging them. Because of this I find it bloody hard to give that encouragement to any one else and I often forget the importance of it, unless I'm stone drunk where I will talk of the greatness of the people closest to me and often tell them, as well as being a dumb ass drunk. It's a cycle and sorry to be the one to tell you this and it's pretty hard for me to admit, but the cycle starts with you and with me. You have to literally change your internal reality and voice. You need to encourage yourself to be all that you know deep down you can be and when you feel that you can totally provide this for yourself and see the awesome effects it has on your life, you will naturally feel inclined to share the love with others. You will lift them up like you lift yourself up. "It is your primary responsibility to empower yourself and go after the life YOU WANT and you will be a beacon of light for others. A lighthouse in the distance on a turbulent sea." There is a darker path that a lot of people pursue that involves putting people down or judging those around them in the most disturbing ways to lift themselves up, but these people are doomed to a life of deep internal suffering because when they judge those people, they are judging themselves. If these people see a fat person and call them fat, if they show any and often natural movement towards weight gain, they will utterly destroy themselves with punishing self talk that they implicitly or explicitly expressed about the other person they deemed 'lower' than them. The cycle goes on and on. I've done this in the past and I must admit I tend to slip up, especially when I'm with other judgmental types - but nobody said changing the function and literal wiring of your brain was easy. It takes work and commitment. Try it next time you catch yourself judging others or yourself internally, try changing it into something positive and something that will help you or the other person. Give yourself and them the benefit of the doubt. Show some love and this may be hard, but trust me, it's going to feel awesome when you do it often enough and isn't that what you want, to feel awesome? To be the positive person in the room who lifts everyone else up and generates massive positivity. Come on people, let's make the effort and have better lives. Let's appreciate how difficult life can be, but also how frickin incredible it can be if our eyes are open to it. Peace, Rhodri.
0 Comments
 “The more I discover and document about myself, the more I discover about others.”
The most simple explanation of why I do what I do is; Through sharing my ideas about self development and growth I develop and grow even more through my documenting of said ideas. I used to write my ideas down for just myself and I still do keep some things to myself, because I only want to share the information that has been put under questioning first:
I also make films and the number one reason I make films is to share or delve into a question or idea and visualise it. I also love creating characters, an emotionally driven story and worlds around that story and characters. Its all awesome stuff, but put simply once again; I just want to share and express and if that helps at least one person that is enough. Through my sharing and expression I hopefully help and connect with others. It used to be because I wanted the approval of others and hope through me forcing out content I would have that invisible thing I desired. Well, that was bullshit and I know some of you are still seeking this magical approval fix on a daily and its hindering your ability and potential. I know this because I still do this, I still want approval sometimes, but the key is that I catch myself doing it. I am aware of my tendency to do this and that is where the real change starts; awareness. You've heard it so many times before; “To overcome an addiction you must acknowledge that you have one.” Overcoming any addiction starts with first the awareness and acceptance that you have it and then you hit it with a 'no backing down' choice to overcome it, no matter what. You don't give yourself an alternative because you know that you will be better off without it. I don't know how a post about why I do what I do turned into one about addiction, but I guess they are connected; “I do this, whatever this is, because it makes me feel awesome in the long run – far more awesome than any quick fix of pleasure can.” #LIVELONGANDTHRIVE "I am indeed a king (OR QUEEN), because I know how to rule myself" - Pietro AretinoLook at your body objectively for a moment. Imagine and know the intricacies of your design, of your composition and the power of the biological complexity at work to keep you alive. Your prime directive is survival. We know this because of our scientific advances in understanding and experience. This is our purpose fundamentally. We cling to life through our in built desire to eat, drink and procreate. In modern western society, the majority of us live in abundance in most areas. Mainly the areas of our most required needs aforementioned.  The diagram above is Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs, a simple diagram that outlines our requirements for living a 'self actualised' life. They are the various stages of psychological development that one can obtain, from the most basic to the more abstract and complex. The term 'self actualisation' is referred to as "Realising one's full potential." This diagram provides one with a clear and simple outline of what is required in terms of 'fulfilment'. We have all most likely been denied the most basic of needs for whatever reason at one point in our lives, which can drive us into an emotionally negative mindset or even looking at this diagram can be create a strong feeling of lack in the knowledge that you may not have some of these 'needs' met. We may feel that we 'need' these met to be happy or fulfilled. I must argue that the starting point for pursuing an improvement of 'mental' function outlined here should be one of abundance and not scarcity or lack. This is not a simple change of your conscious thinking in terms of abundance, but the background; the subconscious. The primary software of your mind, your operating system if you will, needs to be updated before you can truly take the right action and move towards self actualisation. The journey starts with a deep and profound realisation that "You are enough." The abundance mindset is this realisation that "You are enough", and when you KNOW you are enough, you KNOW that abundance in any area CAN be obtained if you really WANT it. This is where things get tricky, if you are struggling to muster motivation to do anything but sit around or are easily distracted by stimuli, first of all, accept this fact (DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP - I have made this mistake too many times) and then you can start to change your subconscious mind and move towards betterment with the correct mindset of openness and abundance. SEEING THINGS DIFFERENTLY.Even if you began pursuing your most ambitious dreams or goals right now, you would still eventually self sabotage at some point along the path. You are your own worst enemy or rather your conditioned thinking is. You may desire to be the best that you can be, but whenever you make an attempt to improve, you are overcome at some point with doubts and fears, even fears of success as well as failure. Its fair to say that we shy away from massive change in our lives and often look for comfort over any real productivity in our daily lives. We may want to build a career around our passions, but use excuse after excuse to keep us in our standard nine to five jobs that are leading to nothing except a lower than desired paycheck at the end of the month and a passionless, unfulfilled life (Just one example). Somewhere deep within you feel a force, a willpower to do, to be the best that you can be and change the world in some way. We feel a desire to creatively express ourselves and bring something incredible into existence. How do we get out of our own way? 1. Awareness. Stop for just a moment and take a courageous look at your 'self' or the idea of who you are at the deepest level. You will find that at your core you hold many limiting beliefs about who you are, reality and what you can achieve. These may be as simple as; "I am not worthy of success." Try detaching your 'self' from the thoughts and emotions that arise when in this natural state of awareness, remain as the awareness without any judgement of what arises. Let it arise into your natural awareness. 2. Radical Honesty. This is where the real changes begin. Take note of what you discover during your moments of undisturbed awareness and put whatever you discover through your internal lie detector. Let's take the previous example of "I am not worthy of success." Who said? Why do you feel that way? Is it warranted? I could answer that question for you as I continue to do for myself on my journey of self development, but I'm not going to. You need to answer your own questions with the most intimate level of trust and love. 3. Allow yourself to fully feel. This can be as easy as you want it to be. What we often forget in our noisy and distracting lives is that we are designed to feel, as in really feel. The emotion that arises within 'wants' to be felt, it wants to be seen. Accept whatever emotions arise while diving into your subconscious without judgement. This is the emotion that you have been repressing and is a massive part of the destructive and recurring process of self sabotage. 4. Let go. The next part is the most important. You must let go of these deeply entrenched beliefs that hold you back and their subsequent emotions. We repress and hold on to these as part of our core identity without even knowing. Even after a single session of 'letting go' you will start to feel your natural inclination toward expression and achievement. But now it won't be from a place of lack, but from the understanding that abundance in ALL areas of life is obtainable and there is nothing stopping you from living the life you want to live. Go through these steps every day for as long as you feel you need to, taking action in other areas as you begin to feel your natural passion and willpower arising within. Knowledge and information can help rewire the brain in many helpful ways, here is a list of books related to self actualisation. P.S. You are fucking incredible! It's not often someone tells you that, but whoever you are - the very fact that you aware that you can improve and are seeking that improvement is potentially one of the most powerful and life changing things you can do. You have the power to achieve your dreams and goals! You are an expression of this vastly complex and infinite universe, look what it has made and tell me that you don't have the ability to create and experience whatever you want. Hell, you could be the next Albert Einstein or Valentina Tereshkova. Or you could be you and inspire the world through your actions. BELIEVE. "What we think we become" - BuddhaI think one major thing that we all need to be honest with ourselves about is that we take life far too seriously. Does that mean you shouldn't work on yourself or you shouldn't take your creative work seriously; no. It means that you shouldn't pressurise yourself into action. Pressure just creates more pressure and you will feel trapped in a cycle of negativity as you struggle to break out of it. It's like quick sand, the more you struggle, the faster you will sink. You just need to relax and take action by grabbing something nearby to pull yourself out.
Look for positivity at your lowest points when you feel like you are in a deep and endless pit. Look for it in anything, like watching a funny video or just dancing on your own to some music you love. Motion creates emotion as they say. I've been feeling un-motivated these last couple of days and as if I am sinking into a sea of negativity and lack. I often feel like something is missing and I look for it out there through self development, gaming, money - anything really. Its all the same shit, it just wears a different mask. What I'm starting to realise is that I need to open up with myself and with everyone else I come into contact with. Especially with the people closest to me. I don't want to live a life of falseness where by I'm constantly putting on this front or mask of who I want to be, instead of just being who I am. I fucking hate labels, so I'm not going to write out a list of shit that I think I am, because it would probably be inaccurate anyway. I'm just going to say that the more I write this shit, the more I feel something leaving me. I feel like negativity is being drained. I had dreams for this site when I created it about a week ago, I tend to project massively and ambitiously into the future. One example is that I literally want to create a film that changes the way people think fundamentally, to change their perspective on life in a positive way. But who the fuck am I to say what's best for the population. I haven't got a clue whats best for the population or even myself in some ways. I just stumble around in the dark most of the time, then I discover a bit of light and share what I discover through my art and writing or however else I feel is the best way to express said light (Knowledge) etc. "Kindly let me help you or you will drown," Said the monkey putting the fish safely up a tree - Alan Watts I think too many self development websites, brands and just people in general are constantly selling us something. Like "LOOK AT THIS, ISN'T IT AMAZING...LOVE ME." As a fundamental rule I think that we just don't respond to that shit (We may get sucked into bull shit from time to time, but know deep down somethings not right),we respond to the REAL. Obviously selling a product or yourself to another individual has technical rules and shit, but why not just be natural. Remember your parents used to say "Be yourself." What they really meant was; "Be yourself, because I know that's what is incredible about you and all of humanity - but I'm afraid to be myself, so don't be like me, be yourself please." But when we are kids we follow by example more than anything else, so our parents say this and we are like; "Be myself, but what the fuck is being myself, be like you, but you are not being yourself, you are fucking stifled and lost and trying to force all these ideas on me all the time, so I have no fucking idea how to be myself." Damn that was a rant, but thats some pure honesty for you right there. Well as much as I could muster. It's hard being honest, but it feels damn good. Your suffering begins with "I want."
Once you SEE this, you can let it be there and then you can live fully. Simple. What is it you seek? Fame, fortune, love, pleasure etc. Remember when you really wanted that chocolate bar, that relationship, that car etc. What happened when you got it? Did you feel better? You may have for a time, but then you slowly fell back into your default state. My favourite example is when you binge watch a series, such as Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad. You watch episode after episode and enjoy every minute of it. In between episodes you eagerly await the next. Then you reach the end of said series and a feeling of lack comes over you, a bit of negative emotion. Think of when you break up with some or worse; you get broken up with. An extreme sense of lack and hopelessness can overcome you, like there is a piece missing within you. This is a clear indication that you were attached and probably dependent on the other person. The longer these feelings last and the harder it is to overcome them is an indication of how tightly you are grasping at life, grasping that which cannot be held in place, consciously or unconsciously. You gained emotional benefits from the external thing (Relationship etc) and placed all kinds of expectations and ideas upon it, giving it power over you. Its like you are avoiding yourself and reality. It can be so easy to slip into this, giving yourself up to something, but this is also one of the most potent was of experiencing massive amounts of suffering in life. Each experience comes in cycles, it starts and it inevitably ends. When you cling to something and fail to accept that it will come to an end eventually, you will suffer greatly and needlessly. Making your experience of this life a constant fluctuation of extreme highs and extreme lows. "The nonpermanent appearence of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons. They arise from sense perception, and one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed. - Anonymous, The Bhagavad Gita If you truly want to stop this extreme fluctuation you must take a step back from the cycle and accept it. Accept impermanence and you will discover a peace of mind that goes beyond the extreme emotional spikes. You can see life as a playful experience of change and variety. You can enjoy it in its fullest form, without limiting it with expectations and ideas of supposed permanence or perfection. This is one of the major reasons we tend to suffer in extreme ways when we break up with a partner or we lose something of value in our lives. We place more value on the external and when it is taken away we have nothing left within. We place the ultimate expectation on the external; we expect something outside of our beings to fulfil us, to complete us and make us whole. As if we were not whole to begin with. Really think about that for a second. The very idea of us being whole or not whole is ridiculous in itself, we simply are. Beyond any notion of completion / in-completion or scarcity / abundance. A great exercise to check if you are clinging / grasping is to ask yourself; what is my default? What is my default state when I'm not with my partner, when I'm not making money, when I'm not eating etc? If you feel any sense of lack or 'incompleteness', it can be an indication that you are placing major expectations / value on the external. Obviously emotion discomfort can exist when not engaging in an activity, but can you be still with those feelings and accept them without trying to run away from them or fearing them. I'm not saying that pursuing goals or dreams is bad or desiring pleasure for the sake of pleasure, it's bad when you are 'needing' something that you believe you lack as an independent entity. You naturally provide yourself with everything you need as you are, there is no 'need' to chase. "You have the right to work, but never to the fruit of work. You should never engage in action for the sake of reward, nor should you long for inaction. Perform work in this world, as a man established within himself - without selfish attachments, and alike in success and defeat. - Anonymous, The Bhagavad Gita  What is false and what is true? This a deep philosophical question and is almost unanswerable. This is because this question is very open ended and expansive. If you apply it to a single variable such as yourself we get; what is false and true for you? I could tell you what is true and false in my experience, but that is my perspective. What I want to do is provide you with an opportunity to find your true and your false. This is the purpose of this website as a whole, not providing you with "truth", but guiding you to your own. Realising that which is true for you on the deepest level of your being will provide you with the tools you never knew you had to live the life you want, the way you want.
"Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." - Buddha When we think of honesty, we think of being honest with others. True honesty cannot start on the outside, in an extremely cliche way, it has to start within. You have to be honest with yourself and you have to accept that honesty. There is no good or bad within, there is just emotion and there is just thoughts. The heart and mind you could say. Practising mindfulness and awareness of your inner world is a powerful tool to help you truly see what you feel and think, without judging it. The acceptance I speak of is simply the idea of letting whatever is there be there, without internally saying it shouldn't or it should. Whatever is going on within you is there and that is that. You need to be brutally honest with yourself why you are feeling a certain way or thinking about something that may be bothering you. For example, you may be feeling offended by some critical feedback from a colleague, friend or partner. Why is this bothering you? Is it because their feedback makes a point? Even if it was overcritical, do they have a point and your ego is offended? That idea you had in your mind of the way things are is threatened and now you are on the defensive. If that's the case, accept that you feel that way because your world view is threatened and move on. Be real with yourself and you will be real with others. You will also be more inclined to accept honesty from others, without going on the defensive. You will appreciate that honesty greatly and you will find that others appreciate it from you. The sooner you are honest with yourself and others, the sooner you will overcome any issue or drawback in your life. The truth always comes to the surface eventually, you cannot hide from it - so accept it now rather than later. "Truth will rise above falsehood as oil above water." - Miguel De Cervantes  Photography by Suren Manvelyan - http://www.surenmanvelyan.com/ You will never know yourself as you can only ever be yourself, you are beyond knowing and beyond that which filters this reality, such as your thoughts, beliefs etc. This realisation is impossible to experience through conceptual thought or through the mind directly. The mind arises from this unknowable place and is an expression of it. You are an expression of the unknowable.
This is not enlightenment, the concept of enlightenment is far too attached to concepts, dogma, sexy ideas and belief. There is no word for it, its simply this; what you are experiencing now. You don't need a reason to be alive or to do anything, you just are and you just do. I don't need to sugar coat this and I don't need to lift you up, I don't need to add or take away anything from you. I just need you to be and you will see. Let life take you and let the experience take you. Live from this place. Anytime you put a label on reality, on what you are doing, on a relationship, on a simple interaction or moment alone, whether it be negative or positive; you are limiting reality. When you cling to these labels and think them the basis of your experience, you are limiting reality. You are not experiencing it fully and opening yourself up to the fullness of every moment that is there for you to be a part of. Look within from this place of detachment and peace. You will know what you truly desire from this life and you will get it. Not from a neurotic, needy and scarce place. From an abundant, calm and confident place of simply knowing and trusting. Faith if you will. If you want to express yourself in any way, do it. There is nothing truly holding you back from playing as you want to play this game of life. You are breaking free from your mind, which is the only thing you need to be free of, nothing external can hold you in place unless you let it. |
AuthorHi my name is Rhodri! I express my self mainly through the art of film and am passionate about sharing my thoughts and ideas. Archives
April 2017
Categories |
RSS Feed